“Do you remember your father?” asked the judge sternly, “that father whom you have disgraced?” The prisoner answered: “I remember him perfectly. When I went to him for advice or companionship, he would look up from his book on the Law of Trusts, and say, ‘Run away, boy, I am busy.’ My father finished his book and here I am.”
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
- Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
- Ephesians 6:4 (New Living Translation)
The purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow, not to exasperate and provoke them to anger or discouragement (see Colossians 3:21). Parenting is not easy - it takes lots of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner. But frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Instead, parents should act in love, treating their children as Jesus treats the people he loves. This is vital to children’s development and to their understanding of what Christ is like.
Source: God’s Little Devotional Book for Dads (God’s Little Devotional Books)
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“People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be - not what you nag them to be.”
- Scudder Parker
“Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.”
- Colossians 3:21
Children must be handled with care. They need firm discipline administered in love. Parents should not aggravate them by nagging, deriding, or destroying their self-respect so that they quit trying.
However, the opposite problem occurs when parents are afraid to correct a child for fear of stifling some aspect of his or her personality or losing his or her love. Single parents or parents who cannot spend much time with a child may be prone to indulgence. But such children, especially, need the security of guidance and structure. Boundaries and guidelines will not embitter a child. Instead, they will set the child free to live securely within the boundaries.
Source: Men of Integrity
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The two devotionals above come from two different sources. One of which follows the days of the month, the second entry is for August 18th. However, the first entry comes from a devotional book that follows no such timeline. I find it interesting that after missing my devotional for 3 days, these two entries line up perfectly. As Dash’s teacher in the “The Incredibles” would say: “Coincidence, I THINK NOT!”.
These entries fall again into the realm of finding the balance in parenting. Love vs. Discipline; Nagging vs. Encouragement. These are the things that must be balanced. What makes it even more difficult is the effect that your mental and emotional state has on this balance. If you are in good mood, then you are less likely to administer discipline: “Oh, it’s not that big of deal”. If you are in a foul mood, then you are more likely to come down on your children for small transgressions and less likely to be forthright with a compliment or encouragement. I deal with this daily as I am moody and prone to depression. I try to make up for these shortcomings with hard work, selflessness, and generosity. Only my family can judge my progress.
Learning to control your emotions and parent from your center rather than the edges of your emotions is one of the myriad of things that makes effective parenting so difficult.
I think that your assessment is close but misses in just 1 aspect. “If you are in good mood, then you are less likely to administer discipline” I think should be less likely to nag. You see that discipline is use to change an undesired behavior while nagging is used as a relief for ones own built up emotions. Discipline is a caring and loving aspect of parenting that we as a society have turned into an ugliness based on TV/ media feeling that push the “self satisfaction at everyone’s else’s expense” idea is acceptable. Think back to when you received discipline, was it done in malice or in love, was it to harm or protect, was it done to humiliate or to educate? Only after years do we appreciate the discipline and lessons learned from it and clear the blurred vision of our youth. So remember that when you give discipline (your love, protection, and lessons) it needs to be administered with Gods ideas in your heart. If you do this you will find that you will not nag as much as well.
Hows this for my first Blog ?